Emmelyn talking

Emmelyn provides us with much entertainment for a person who can't say much. She does coo, gurgle and flail her arms and legs about.

Emmelyn at play

Emmelyn loves playing on her little gym, which has dangly things and music that plays from a bear. Here is a video of her enjoying some play time!

Utah state fair: It's not Minnesota

After three years in Utah, we finally made it to the state fair. One word sums up the experience: lackluster.
As born and bred midwesterners, we were expecting the kitsch that defines the Minnesota State Fair. But here in Utah, there were no Sweet Martha's Cookies. No "all you can drink" milk stand. No Ye Olde Mill. No personality.
To say the least, we were bummed. There was one large butter sculpture, but only one. The rest of the "fair" (if you want to call it that), was more like a big flea market. Shady carnies pushing "As Seen on TV" knife sets and other garbage. There wasn't even a very eclectic food selection (the words "pronto pup" were nowhere to be seen).
There were hardly any animals, but that was probably OK for this year's trip. We started through the pig barn, where there were some cute piglets, but then I got nervous that Em might catch some sort of disease and we hightailed it out of there.
The highlight was probably the pig races --an act from Arkansas where a group of razorbacks ran around a track. It provided mild entertainment, but the act was from Arkansas. I think the Utah State Fair needs to find its own identity. It's got nothing on the great Minnesota get together, in my opinion.

My stockmarket tip: Infant feeding companies will never dip

One time after moving to Utah, I did a friend of a friend a favor by attending a Mary Kay makeover session. The friend’s friend had recently decided to become a Mary Kay consultant to make some extra cash during the economic downturn. My job that day was to be her guinea pig: She got to practice doing makeup on someone; I got some free Mary Kay goodies. Part of her job was also to encourage me to join the Mary Kay bandwagon as a consultant. The biggest selling point: Cosmetics is a recession-proof industry. I declined to become a makeup saleswoman. Not my favorite thing to pressure friends to buy lipstick from me and besides, everyone who knows me knows that I faithfully plunk down way too much money at Merle Norman whenever I’m back in Fargo-Moorhead and my trusty beauty consultant there sells me on the latest trend.

But, since Emmelyn’s birth, I’ve learned that there is another sure –fire recession-proof industry: Infant feeding. The people at Medela and Enfamil really know what they’re doing. These products are necessities, and when you really need them, you would go to any length to get them. The 24-hour Wal-Mart should really jack up their prices on Enfamil from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. Desperate dads all over the valley would pay top dollar for a can of premade formula when they realize they’ve run out and they’ve promised their significant other they’d take the 3:30 a.m. feeding with said formula that they forgot to pick up.

And the marketing people at Medela are geniuses. Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say the Medela Pump in Style has been an integral part (and will continue to be an integral part) of my life since Emmy arrived. But you start to use it and realize, hmm, it sure would be nice to have an extra set of bottles so I’m not washing the same three in the sink all the time between feedings. So you look online and there it is –the “extra bottle set” for $16.99. Then you notice the “breastfeeding gift set” for a mere $29.99 (I got this as a shower gift from a wise soul who must’ve known how handy freezer bags and spare parts can be). And a few weeks later, it dawns on you that a second pair of Medela “connectors” and “shields” for a steal of $10.99 a piece would do wonders for the work that is washing, drying and using all these parts several times a day. All of a sudden you realize that a good chunk of your paycheck has someone gone to the smart folks at Medela … and just when you think you’ve spent enough, you open up that extra set of connectors to realize that you also need to buy a separate pack of membranes (at the low value of $5.99) and valves (also $5.99) to make that spare set of connectors usable. Sheesh. You would think the connectors would come with that stuff in the box, but no. If Medela did that, consumers wouldn’t plunk down extra money and the Medela stock would probably not been in the presumably cozy state that it’s at.

Curious about Medela, since their products are suddenly a must-have for me, I googled their company Web site. Here is their history: “Founded in 1961 by Olle Larsson in Zug, Switzerland, Medela continues to grow under the ownership of the Larsson family. Medela serves customers through a worldwide network of distribution partners in more than 90 countries and its 13 subsidiaries in the United States, Switzerland, Canada, Germany, Sweden, France, Benelux (Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg), Italy, Japan, Russia, the United Kingdom, China and Spain. The company entered the United States more than 25 years ago; its U.S. headquarters are located in McHenry, Illinois.”

I’d have to say the Larssons’ are probably some of the smartest entrepreneurs I know! Wish I’d thought of building a company in the “post-natal” field! Guess I’ll just have to settle for supporting it through many, many purchases of their supplies. In honor of this, here are some cute new photos of Em:

Emmelyn resting

Emmelyn loves to snuggle, and we've gotten into the habit of letting her crawl into bed for some naps. Here is a photo of her snuggled up with dad.

Emmelyn at night

Cool blog

My former editor at The Forum, Mary Jo, recently started blogging. I love her blog! Her husband Heath, worked in the sports department with Joe. We've stayed in touch, although we haven't had a chance to see them in person since our wedding. MJ gave me some great advice on c-sections before my surgery, as she went through one herself six months ago when she delivered twin boys. Since she's a fellow journalist who loves her job, I can relate to much of what she writes about. I think my feelings on balancing work and motherhood will be very similar to hers. I thought a recent entry she wrote on that topic was fantastic. Check it out at:

http://minivanmom.areavoices.com/2010/09/09/the-working-mom-dilemma/

Swinging!

New photos

Our co-worker Jeremy took some awesome photos of Emmelyn. We'll post a few here; we also just ordered some birth announcements that we hope to mail out shortly once they are finished.

One month of motherhood

Emmelyn turned one month old on September 10. It went by in the blink of an eye and it is hard to remember what we've even been up to. It's all a blur of feeding, changing diapers, snuggling and comforting her. In honor of her one-month milestone. Here is a list of 10 ruminations that I've had about motherhood so far:

1. The world doesn’t look the same after a baby. This is a cliché, but one that has become a cliché for good reason. My last almost three years as a crime reporter has meant I’ve written dozens and dozens of stories about murders, child abuse and all things atrocious. This week, there were two news stories that even 6 months ago I would have been able to look at objectively as a journalist –the murder of two children in their Layton home by a deranged mother and a sexual assault on a 4-year-old in a Sandy thrift store by a registered sex offender. I was horrified. Horrified in a new and different way than I could have felt before Emmelyn. Not that I wouldn’t have been horrified as a journalist, but learning to be a journalist who is also a mother could be one of my most challenging transitions to come. My awesome editor wrote to me at my Utah baby shower “Enjoy the good moments and take a deep breath on the bad days. At the end of the day, you will always remember what a blessing you have.” A simple piece of advice that couldn’t be more true.

2. At my Utah baby shower, attended by many of my writer friends here, each person was asked to write some advice or a wish for my baby. This was one of the best gifts received, as I have all these papers in a scrapbook for Emmelyn. One of the wishes was “You already have all the tools you’ll need to be a mother. “ And also said something along the lines of “You know more than you think you know.” While Joe and I learn something new everyday, I think we both feel good about the parents we are becoming, realizing that we do have the tools to love and care for Em –now that we’ve had a month with her and didn’t exactly know exactly how we’d do it or be with her before she was born. There are challenging moments –and many more challenging moments to come –but being our own little family without family nearby to rely on has made us stronger as a couple. Sure, we wish we lived closer to family sometimes (I know some of them wish we’d move back ASAP!) ;-) But I think we’ve adjusted to parenthood faster than some, as we’ve had to do it on our own, after our initial family visitors went back to MN. We loved, loved having my parents out here (and we can't wait to steal a nap when they come to town again soon). Don't get me wrong about that...it's just we hear about friends/people --especially new dads --who will say "Oh, I haven't changed a diaper yet, etc." because SO much family has been around to do it all for them. That is great too, but I'm just glad we're on our own to some degree and have established our own routine. I think we're better parents for it.

3. People say, “You won’t remember what life was like before your baby.” This is so true. I don’t remember what Joe and I used to talk about. And it is hard to remember doing the things we enjoyed without Em along –we’ve been pretty brave and taken her hiking, to soccer games, to parties, shopping and to the parks for walks. I sort of feared I would be overly homebound, but that hasn’t been the case. She’s pretty easy going and has adjusted with us right into our routine. So while we don’t really remember what life used to be like, we’re not really missing what life used to be like!

4. Never understimate the power of baby Oxi Clean. I mean, wow. I could be a spokeswoman for that product. It is amazing. As is the Boppy Newborn Lounger. How did people have babies before these things existed? Also never understimate how many loads of laundry a 6-pound person can create in one week. Or how much a tiny person can eat, poop and spit up.

5. Little girls can find a way to pee on you when you are changing their diapers just as effectively as little boys can. In Emmelyn’s case, perhaps more effectively than a little boy could.

6. The politics of motherhood are amazing. People have such strong feelings about birth experiences and child rearing. It’s amazing how often they want to pitch in their two cents –and are adamant that their way is the right way. I stay far, far away from the breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding debate and quietly do my own thing (which for my family is a little of both). Also, the anti-c-section group is a rabid bunch (*Disclaimer: I am not referring to one person or people, but more just of general literature/theories/thought process of a certain sector out there when it comes to birth). They like to inquire, “Why did you do THAT?” when it comes to c-sections. This pisses me off, and I don’t feel a need to explain, and I really don’t like the mentality that having a c-section is somehow taking “the easy way out” of having a child. I e-mailed a local c-section support group, looking for support/tips on healing from the surgery. What I got was a bunch of stuff on VBACs and how I shouldn't let a doctor talk me into doing a second c-section if I don't need it. Um, let's cross that bridge when we get there, you know?!?!

When I do occasionally acknowledge this crowd’s question, I explain that I had pre-eclampsia that had progressed to a level where my doctors feared I would be at a high risk for having life-threatening seizures during a conventional delivery. Once they realize that I’m not some New Yorker who scheduled an elective c-section so I could make my vacation in the Hamptons, they tend to be a little nicer once realizing that I had a medical reason for the procedure. The lesson in all of this to me is this: People’s medical decisions are their own business and they don’t owe you an explanation for why they made them. Also, don’t assume you know someone’s reasons for making said medical decisions. Perhaps you don’t know the whole story and perhaps you don’t need to know.

That said, I actually love hearing advice from others (especially close friends and family whose opinions I trust and respect) about their challenges and how they overcame them. It’s nice to know that other mothers get tired, confused or overwhelmed at times too.

7. While sometimes I’m a little taken aback by people’s unsolicited advice (OK random Wal-Mart cashier who saw Em's face, which was a little dry one day, and suggested a certain lotion to treat my baby's apparent "skin condition"), I find myself holding back my own opinions. Emmelyn and I went to Target for the “baby sale” the other day. In the breastfeeding aisle, was an 8 or 9-months-pregnant woman scratching her head. I was this woman a month ago. I mean, there are like 6 different breat pump models, endless amounts of gadgets, cleansers and other supplies –where does a new mom know where to start? This particular woman was starting a baby registry and had her mom with her (the woman looked close to my age; her mom looked close to my mom’s age). I picked up a pack of the Medela “quick clean wipes” and put them in my basket. I kept walking down the aisle and the mom-to-be picked up what I’d just picked up and asked her mom, “Should I register for this?” Her mom replied “I have no idea. They didn’t have half of this crap when I had children. We just had the baby and went day to day and hope everything turned out all right.” I was really tempted to turn around and tell her to register for the “quick clean wipes” as well as extra shields and connectors. But then I stopped myself from going way too TMI and scaring the crap out of the mom-to-be. I realized that she would realize shortly after her baby what she will need, and four weeks after having a baby, she won’t be scratching her head in the aisle anymore like I had been, just a month ago! You learn to navigate products quickly.

8. Babies R Us doesn’t scare me anymore. I refused to register there because there is just way too much crap in that store and I had no idea how to start choosing. Now I can go in there and it makes sense. Once you’ve tried to bathe a figedty newborn and figured out how helpful a bath pillow can be, been spit up on because you haven’t bought enough burp cloths or realized the power of a musical toy to clip on a car seat, the merchandise at Babies R Us makes more sense. But before baby, I still wouldn’t know where to start in that place.

9. Screaming children in the grocery store don’t bother me anymore. I now feel empathy and not annoyance. I’m just glad it is someone else’s kid doing the screaming, and not mine. (Yet anyway). I wouldn’t yet categorize myself as a patient person, but I think I’ve made some strides in that direction since baby Emmy arrived.

10. Mothers seem to have some sort of unspoken club of kindness that they’ve graciously made me a part of. The other day Emmelyn and I went to Old Navy to shop for some hoodies after I realized that most of her 3-month-old outfits are short sleeved. The Fort Union Old Navy doesn’t have automatic doors and I was struggling to figure out how to open the door while pushing Emmelyn’s stroller. I saw another mom with about a 1 1/2-year-old walk from a couple aisles away to help me with the door. She was so friendly –and I really appreciated just this small gesture of making life a little easier! I’ll remember to pass on the favor in a couple months when I get around with the baby quicker and spot a brand new mom who could use a hand.

Our night owl

Just a couple of photos from our night sessions with Em. She likes to socialize from roughly 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. Pretty soon, we might be able to take some steps to try to alter her sleeping pattern, but for now, she's still to little to worry to much about it. At least she's not up crying at that time! Just wanting attention and a little fussy.

Life with Miss Emmelyn

Emmelyn continues to be a laid back baby. She doesn't fuss very often --only when she is hungry or cold. She does not like taking a bath, which falls along the "doesn't like to be cold" category.

We like to read to her, play with her musical Baby Einstein toy, sing to her (Joe plays the guitar), and hang out. She's been on a few walks and went on her first hike at 3 weeks at Brighton ski resort. She also went to her first party on Labor Day weekend --our friend Dave turned 30 and Emmelyn tagged along for a bit. She was a hit!

Growing baby girl

Emmy weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces when born --but dropped to 6 pounds 2 ounces at her first doctor's appointment with Dr. Morgan, five days after birth. She came in for a weight check and gained three ounces, to 6 pounds 5 ounces. Then at her two week appointment she jumped all the way to 7 pounds 4 ounces! Dr. Morgan was impressed --and suggested we let Emmy eat when she wakes up --and that we can go up to 5 or 6 hours between feedings at night now that she has gained weight and is keeping her temperature up on her own (a couple problems she had early on because she was born at 37 weeks). We are glad to have a healthy, growing girl!

I forgot to mention in the last post that we were so happy with the care we got at St. Mark's Hospital. What a great experience! And while a c-section was not in our original plan, I can't imagine that it could have gone any smoother. Yes, it's painful, and recovery continues, but overall it wasn't too bad.

Welcome, Emmelyn!

Emmelyn Isabella Whetham was born on August 10, 2010 at 3:41 p.m. She weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces. She was delivered via c-section after that was determined to be the best option because of my pre-eclampsia.

We were blessed to have Grandpa and Grandma Rogers come to town for the occasion of Emmy's birth! They helped out a town during the four days I was in the hospital and for a few days after we returned home.

We jumped right into life with Emmy --feedings every two hours, playing and reading and lots of cuddling. We can hardly remember what life was like before she came!